Straight to Voicemail
by HolbyFanKat
Summary: Prompt: A very drunk and partially enraged Serena decides to finally contact Bernie, who's chosen to remain in Ukraine, much to serenas dismay. They start, full of hatred and anger, but as Serena begins to sober up, the voicemails become full of heartache, pain, and longing for Bernie to return. One shot


**Oneshot based on a prompt from Lily ( holbycityobsessed on tumblr.) Its set when Bernie is in Ukraine and explores a bit more about how Serena feels about it. Reviews and prompts always welcome. Kat xx**

•straight to voicemail;

A very drunk and partially enraged Serena decides to finally contact Bernie, who's chosen to remain in Ukraine, much to serenas dismay. They start, full of hatred and anger, but as Serena begins to sober up, the voicemails become full of heartache, pain, and longing for Bernie to return.

After receiving the news earlier that day that Bernie had decided to stay in Ukraine for longer, Serena had felt the desperate need for a drink. A few glasses of wine in Albies with Ric had soon turned into several bottles, that she'd picked up at the supermarket, on her own at home. The alcohol was supposed to take her mind off Bernie but had some how only made it worse. Half way through the second bottle she picked up her phone with a huff. She scrolled through her contacts a few times before stopping on that familiar name. The wine swirling inside her giving her the courage to finally click it. She held the phone to her ear and waited as it rang. When it went to voicemail she rolled her eyes. "Bernie hi, it's me. Serena. I was just ringing to well see how things are I guess. I." She groaned before hanging up and pouring another large glass. Once she had finished that she tried again. She listened to that same voicemail tone. "Bernie Wolfe, leave a message."

"How difficult is it to answer? I understand that the prospect of being with me is appalling and disgusting but at least have the curtesy to let me know you're alive. If you don't feel anything for me then at least let me know. Give me some kind of closure." She used her free hand to top up the wine glass before hanging up once again. Only a few seconds passed before she was hitting that phone sign. She waited impatiently for the inevitable beep. "You know what? Don't bother. Yeah you could be dead in a ditch for all I know and why should I care? You obviously don't give a damn about me. I bet right this minute you're in bed with some hot young woman and I don't care about that either. Not at all. I'm completely over you. I don't even think about you anymore and I doubt you even remember who I am. So goodbye." She hung up and slammed her phone down on the coffee table in front of her. Every single word she said couldn't be further from the truth. Of course she cared. She cared more than she ever had about anything. It hurt her so much to think that Bernie wanted nothing to do with her. Not only that but she missed her. She missed having her around on the ward and basically spending all their time together outside of work too. She'd never meant to fall in love with Bernie, that had happened on its own. In the beginning she had just enjoyed having a proper friendship for the first time in a long while. It was nice to have an equal, someone she could have adult conversation with, someone who understood her. But that was all gone now and she was alone once again. Somehow this was more painful than when Edward had been playing away. She shouldn't be surprised by that though, those two kisses had done more for her than her entire sexual relationship with her ex husband had. All of her dreams were filled with soft lips, wisps of blonde hair and smooth pale skin. She longed to wake up next to her and feel her strong arms around her, but that would never happen now. She groaned and rolled her eyes at how soppy she'd become. That was something else to blame the blonde for. There definitely was a long list. She tried her best to be angry, and she was, but deep down the strongest feeling was the sadness. The feeling of rejection. And then there was the embarrassment. She'd laid herself completely open, in the middle of the ward no less, just for her to walk away. The constant teasing and gossip did nothing to get rid of that feeling. Normally she'd put a stop to it straight away, she had the ability to scare any member of her staff, but she no longer had the strength. She drained the last of her wine with a sigh. That's when the events of the evening finally hit her. Oh god had she really left all those messages? Maybe she should leave just one more message. With any hope that would be the first she'd listen to and she could stop her playing any more. She pressed call and waited. When the voicemail service cut in she took a deep breath. "Hi Bernie, it's Serena. I'm hoping you haven't listened to the other voicemails I've left but if you have you should ignore them, completely forget it all. I said some horrible things and well I may have had a few too many glasses of wine. I just want you to know that I do care, even if you don't care about me, I can get over that. I will." She felt the tears threatening to fall and wiped angrily at her eyes. "I just miss you. I don't even mean romantically as that's clearly not what you want. I just miss my best friend, my co-lead, my shoulder to cry on and all the rest of it. Please just come back. I won't be mad. Well I might be a little bit, but not for long. Although I suppose that depends how long you leave it until you grace us with your presence again. Do you even plan on coming back or have you made your new life out there? If that's the case then please give me a call. I hate all this not knowing. But one thing I could never hate is you. I…well you know. I don't think saying it will help matters will it?" She was well and truly crying now. "Look what you've done to me Berenice. Well you can't look because you're not bloody here. See, one minute I'm shouting and screaming and the next I'm in floods of tears. I never cry. So yes I'll stop bothering you now. Please come back. Bye." She hung up and placed the phone on the table before doubling over in tears, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. She took slow deep breaths to try and calm herself down. Once the crying was under control she moved slowly so her head was resting on the arm of the sofa and her legs were stretched out to the other end. It wasn't long until the emotional exhaustion sent her into a fitful sleep.

She was disturbed a few hours later by a hand on her shoulder. "Bernie?" She mumbled as she opened her eyes.

"No Auntie Serena. Doctor Wolfe is in a different country. How could it be her?" He asked, full of confusion.

"No you're right. It was just a stupid 'just woken up' moment. Why would it possibly be her." She sighed.

"Why were you sleeping on the sofa?" He noticed her tear stained face. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes yes I'm fine. Just too much wine. I think we should both go to bed don't you." She swung her legs round and started to stand up.

"Do you need a hug?" He helped her to stand.

She felt a smile spread across her face for the first time in ages. "I would love one." She stepped forwards and was wrapped up in arms of her nephew.

"You know I love you Auntie Serena, even if Bernie doesn't." He spoke into her hair as he hugged her tightly.

She swallowed down a sob. "Thank you Jason."


End file.
